Well here we are… week 6. What a great time to put together a faulty power rankings that will likely be shredded in 2-3 weeks. Why now? Well there’s 2 undefeated AFC teams and everyone says the AFC is trash, so we gotta put that rep out there while the reppin’ is good. *Key imploding of the undefeated teams*
- Packers – Now look, I didn’t want to put myself 1 but at the same time I did to trash on the Packers. I did the right thing here though, the Pack are 5-1 with a tough schedule. They have a power house offense and that’s about it. I don’t know, defense is so 70’s and Mr. Nick is an average millennial with the attention span of a goldfish. Burns through all focus on offense and then on defense lives in a fantasy world of playing with A.Rob (offense again, see a trend?) Packers are the defending champ tho, and they deserve this spot… if only to watch them tumble down the charts as their schedule gets tougher and use the old Nelson “HA HA” meme.
- Bills – Buffalo DGAF. We’re slamming people through tables and taking shots out of ass cracks. We are #2 because we may never be again, write your own if you don’t like it. Buffalo does come in with a monster offense (1500 yards passing yet to reach 100 attempts) developing early leads leading to heavy use of the run. If we are to believe DL they have the #2 offense and #2 defense in PPG. Currently sitting atop the league and 6-0 they’re gonna have to enjoy it until tomorrow (Wednesday 1/9 5EST) when the damn Ravens host them in Baltimore to give them a shiner for speaking out of turn.
- Chargers – AFC AFC! The Chargers are over here handling that business at 5-0. While the opponent record doesn’t look great they are playing in a much improved AFC W with wins over a good Titans teams and a Chiefs team that has putting on the burners lately. The Chargers also magically only have .32M in cap room according to DL which has gotta be a feat on its own right. Now that LAC has balanced out the roster from being QB heavy to carrying other positions they seem to be putting it all together led by THE Cam Newton.
- Falcons – Ravens or Falcons? This one was tough, this is Birdbox in the XCFL, you really don’t want to see either because you will see a nightmare. Falcons take the position on this one, mainly because of that nanocheat Tak Mckinley. Do people not know hes coming? How many games does this guy have tallying more sacks individually than some teams do over a 3 game span? I’m not doing the math, but I’d guess its double digits. Do I make a joke about the owner? Nah not on this one, Chargers have been pretty ruthless in the chats and I’m going to have to wait until his bum’s cleared from sitting on a donut.
- Ravens – Speaking of cheats, here come the Ravens. The only team to have a player suspended for CHEATING (Oh wait that’s not true is it? :)) This is a complete team, they play defense well, run well and…. well their drop backs are successful. The Ravens only loss was to the NFC best record Bears last year, and have put a whooping down on some good teams. Ravens are the #1 PPG team on offense and make it tough to pick a defense that can stop the different looks sent your way.
- Redskins – Jack is Back. Now that his side job has ended he can focus on his primary job here. Currently sitting at 4-2 which includes being 4-0 when he is actually present this nets him next up on the rankings.This is a team that is going to run the ball down your throat and you wont be able to stop it, its the same plan hes been using cycle after cycle and it continues to execute successfully.
- Chiefs – Kansas City is 3-2, but their only losses are to the Chargers and Ravens up above. Besides those games this team has been rolling pretty well. They have a game tonight which has yet to be played which had it been played would keep them here, or potentially drop them off, but in upstate NY we don’t wait for anybody, so this is the spot you earned, don’t let us down!
- Cowboys – Can we put a team that just got blanked by the English (Texas as a whole would hate that) in the top 10? YES WE CAN! Dallas has only lost to the Falcons and the Redskins who both are listed up above and this was sorta of our little miracle story. Finishing last season 0-7 and then fighting to a 3-2 record (two tough loses) it’s the feel good story beloved across all of the Americas…. except that loss to the Falcons.
- Jaguars – The Jags are sitting at 4-2 with some quality wins. They boast the 2nd best WR in the AFC and a daunting defense.The selection of a new QB1 seems to be looking right from an off season perspective as they currently have the 4th best offense in PPG and 9th best defense. This is a team sitting in a competitive AFC S battle that likely will be decided late in the season.
- Rams – These get tough as we hit the middle of the pack as some of the teams get really close together. I decided to go with the Rams who have had the toughest schedule out of the remaining teams. With the 12th best offense and the 8th best defense statistically this puts them right here as well. The Rams are battling in the NFC W which always is a slobber knocker. I wouldn’t be surprised to somehow see all of these teams end 8-8 but putting the Rams on here isn’t just for the Rams, it’s to show we didn’t forget our friends from the Westward Expansion.
Look – these are subjective. If you don’t like it you’re gonna have to let your thumbs do the talking. But please, show me what that mouf do and let me know what you think!